Memo to the anti-choice community: you’re starting to look like a bunch of A-holes.

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Starting to?!

Reading anti-choice and religious blogs always makes me want to have impossibly filthy sex. Like, really, REALLY nasty.

Hm.

Well, when you read things like this and this, I how can you not suddenly want to drop trou and start humping everything you see? Check out the comments for some extra insight. Oh, hell – I’ll save you the time and nausea. The jist: “Worried about the rising costs of birth control?  Well, uh, shut the fuck up you baby-killing homo vegans and just stop having sex. It’s called ‘abstinence’ and it’s 100% effective” (except for the 88% of purity princes and princesses who break the No Fucking Pledge within a year of taking it).  Also notice how Michelle Malkin tags her post “abortion,” even though it’s entirely about contraception.  What a cunt.

I love how nobody encourages women to replace sex with the obviously closer alternative of masturbation which carries a ZERO PERCENT risk of unplanned pregnancy or STI transmission, but a high risk of female pleasure (oh noes!). Nah, of course not. They just simply tell us whores to keep our filthy whore thighs, not to mention our mouths, closed.

Apparently if you’re poor you don’t deserve to have sex.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard some dunderhead say “abstinence is free, sluts!” in a conversation about the affordability of birth control.  It takes an impressive amount of privilege to allow yourself access to consequence-free sex (you think these guys believe in abstinence for men?  Bitch, please), all the while insisting that women who can’t afford the Pill do not, in fact, have the right to fuck their lovers/boyfriends/husbands without making a baby that they don’t want and – all together now: CAN’T AFFORD – and on top of that, oppose abortion AND government programs that help lower-income women raise all those babies that the right works so hard to “save” healthy and safe.  I also know anti-choice folks who DO believe in using contraception to prevent the need for abortion (and naturally place that onus entirely on women), but they’re overlooking one very important glitch:  they go on and on about how “those” girls wouldn’t need to have abortions if they were just smart and responsible and good enough to use birth control…all the while voting for politicians who are doing everything in their power to restrict access to contraception, sex education, health care, and government assistance for  women and families (either because they don’t know, or they don’t care, or they’re so disgusted by abortion that they’ll only vote for the guy who says he’s disgusted by abortion too even though he increases the need for it, or they just. hate. women. that. much. ). Special. It’s like punishing you for being disenfranchised by keeping you disenfranchised.  It’s cyclical and disgusting.

Did these asshats ever stop to think that maybe, just maybe, many of the people needing access to cheap contraception aren’t hairy-legged, sex-crazed devil feminists, but struggling married couples who already have children they can’t afford, and therefore effectively yanking affordable birth control from their hands may not be the wisest move? What were you saying about welfare again? After all, EVERY DOLLAR SPENT ON FAMILY PLANNING SERVICES SAVES THE GOVERNMENT 3-5 DOLLARS IN EXPENSES, and some states (like CA) receive a $9 federal match for every dollar they spend on family planning.

Someone please, please, PLEASE break the news to the wingnuts that 98% of women who have ever had sex have used at least one form of contraception in their lifetime and that the Pill is the most widely used method (even over the condom). Oh, and don’t forget to mention that millions of women also take hormonal contraceptives not to have blasphemous, sinful, heathen (read: satisfying and consequence-free) sex, but to alleviate cramps, acne, iron deficiency, debilitating PMS, and a myriad of other health issues. But then again, since when has the right ever given a shit about women’s health?

Seriously, guys. A giant bunch of A-holes.

If you’re still not convinced that the lifers’, Christians’, and republicans’ desire to criminalize abortion is just a cover for their real agenda of criminalizing birth control (the only proven method of REDUCING THE ABORTION RATE), then you’re not paying attention.

Um, anybody else kind of nervous? Did I say “nervous”? I meant “furious.”

Listen fundies, just because you’re doin’ it through a sheet with the lights out, fighting off orgasms to please Jesus doesn’t mean we should all be punished.

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Filed under Angry Feminist / Political Asshole, Recommended Reading, Religious FUNdaMENTALism!