Erections for All, Abortions for None!

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Fuck Women!

Update 4.7.08: a grip of links has been added and info updated.

As a reminder of what’s truly important to our government, it’s surfaced that the Medicare program spent $21 million on PENIS ENLARGEMENT PUMPS, ostensibly as “marital aids” (read: sex toys) for old and disabled men. (I won’t mention that penis pumps are actually primarily used for masturbation – details, smeetails.)

To add insult to injury, the government paid $450 bucks apiece for these babies, which ordinarily retail for about $40-$200 (trust me, I know). Gasp! Wasteful spending of taxpayer dollars?! No way! Shock! A government filled with old farts who can’t get it up (unless confronted with a nubile, shirtless young boy), sympathizes with other old farts who can’t get it up, and thus enacts legislation that reflects just how much they value their precious stiffies? O RLY?

Now, don’t get me wrong, I completely support helping older and disabled folks have satisfying sexual experiences. I am obviously a believer in the theory that sexuality is an integral part of our existence and identity, and that every person on earth has an inalienable human right to a happy and fulfilling sex life. But the last time I checked, the Bush Administration didn’t feel the same way. I mean, the Republican reasoning (and I use the word “reasoning” very loosely) behind not allowing birth control to be covered by insurance is that having sex is NOT a medical or human necessity, and people shouldn’t be fucking unless they’re wealthy, white, Christian, heterosexual, married, doing it with the lights out, and making sure the woman receives absolutely zero pleasure, yet gets knocked up in the process. Conservatives of the Bush Admin. stripe apparently believe that sex should ONLY occur for the sake of having lots n’ lots of adorable (white) babiezzzzzz!, which is interesting since they’re using shittons of taxpayer money to provide sex toys for a group of people who, let’s face it, aren’t fucking to procreate.

Hmmmmmm. The government will pay to help MEN have sex (that doesn’t result in pregnancy), but won’t pay to help WOMEN have sex (that doesn’t result in pregnancy)? They won’t even force insurance companies that cover Viagra and Rogaine to pony up for contraceptive medication? Women’s sex toys are fucking illegal in some states, yet we have FEDERAL MONEY subsidizing their purchase for men? Nah, we don’t hate women.

‘Cept that we do. I have officially crossed the line into bitter, angry feminist, becoming more and more convinced every day that the entire fucking world really, really, REALLY has it out for us broads (even though you let us vote. In some countries. Aw, thanks).

Not convinced?

Allow me remind you that the government just cut a program (which cost taxpayers nothing to begin with) that provided colleges and non-profit agencies (like Planned Parenthood) with extraordinarily cheap birth control, thus effectively raising the price of contraception for low-income women and college students 900 FUCKING PERCENT. Instantly. A conservative government restricting programs that allow poor women to have sexual autonomy and the power to control their own reproductive organs, sending the message that you only deserve to have safe sex if you can fucking afford it (or if you’re a dude)?! You don’t say! (Take action here)

I will also note that the same government has spent upwards of 1.5 billion dollars on medically-inaccurate, sexist, gender-norm enforcing, homophobic, First Amendment violating, abstinence-only sex “education,” which has been proven, in study after study, to not only be ineffective / worthless / futile / fucking dumb as hell, but also HARMFUL. Whatwhatwhat?! The Bush Administration spits in the face of research and the logical spending of federal funds to promote programs that utilize bullshit ideology (which whole-heartedly supports the oppression of women n’ queers) instead of science and effectiveness?! Color me surprised!

And let’s not forget that Medicaid, the federal program that provides low-income Americans with basic health care, will not cover abortions unless the woman’s life is in danger or she is the victim of rape or incest – and we all know how easy it is for low-income, abused, victimized women to navigate government bureaucracy, not to mention how well they’re treated by cops and government workers, when they’re reporting sexual abuse and trying to obtain an abortion on the house! A government that systematically disenfranchises poor women refuses to offer a service that would greatly reduce their oppression and increase their quality of life (and therefore power in society)?! Whaaaa?!

(P.S. Thanks Henry Hyde!)

Recap: Studies have shown that criminalizing abortion doesn’t reduce the abortion rate – it just increases the rate of women becoming injured or dying from illegal abortions. It’s been proven time and time again that the most effective way to reduce unintended pregnancies (and therefore abortions) is to make contraception affordable and widely available, and to offer all citizens medically-accurate sexuality education. Countries with the MOST ACCESS to abortion and birth control via government funding have the LOWEST abortion rates. And basically, the Bush Administration, which belongs to the party of supposed freedom and fiscal responsibility, gives a big, ol’ FUCK YOU! to all these facts by spending billions of dollars on programs that not only restrict individual liberty (for women), but are actually proven to have the exact OPPOSITE of their intended effect…and is also spending $21 million dollars on dick pumps for old dudes. Because Jesus told them to. Or something.

So yeah, conservative opposition of abortion and birth control actually has nothing to do with babies, ethics, life, and all that bullshit, despite what they say, and everything to do with controlling women’s sexuality and keeping women, especially poor women of color, oppressed. Period. If this wasn’t true, they’d spend their money on what’s proven to reduce, instead of increase, the abortion rate – they don’t because that shit just so happens to also empower women and low-income citizens.

And the last time I checked, there has never been an abortion that didn’t first start with an erection – pumped or otherwise.

Feminism is total bullshit, by the way.

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