Mar 5, 2006 4:00 PM
These two hipster looking kids were riding the F train from the Lower East Side, and the girl was talking about comedians she liked to the dude. Her favorites were (unfortunately) Dane Cook, Daniel Tosh (who is the generic, brown-wrapper, even less funny version of Dane Cook), and Stephen Lynch. I got off before she could finish imitating Daniel Tosh’s totally not funny story about his dream house (what the fuck is he? Barbie?), and decided right then and there that not only did these people have a terrible concept of what clever and original comedic material encompasses, but also that they were probably, in fact, not hipsters. Tight pants can be deceiving.
Side note: while the comedians listed are not funny, they’re actually kind of hot. I wouldn’t fuck them because of my policy against fucking unfunny comedians, but I will fuck people who look like them. Stephen Lynch is slightly cross-eyed, though, so I’d prefer a dude without that problem, although I did fuck a kid with a lazy eye, and I don’t even notice it anymore.
I miss that kid – you know who you are, sugar.
10 Comments
October 30. 2006 at 6:50 am
who are you to judge what is funny or not? what makes you so intelligent? What gives you the ability to decipher what is clever or not. O yes, I know the fact that you post a pathetic insignificant blog that nobody in their right mind gives a shit about, thats it! you loser, stop being so cynical and leave something worth reading.
October 31. 2006 at 4:26 am
You know, I promised myself I wouldn’t spend my precious time responding to total retards, but this moron was just too fucking stupid to resist fucking with. I mean, we all know this kid is going to check my blog morning, noon, and night until I give him the attention and validation he so desperately craves by responding to his dumbass comment, so here goes:
I’m sorry. I forgot that the only people that are allowed to have opinions (even sarcastic, lighthearted, relatively insignificant ones), are people that are famous and/or rich – not regular, working people who only have an “insignificant blog”…and I’M cynical? I DO think it’s funny, though, that someone who apparently doesn’t know how to capitalize the beginning of a sentence or use punctuation correctly is not only calling me a loser, but doesn’t have the fucking balls to even leave his/her real name. It’s super easy to be a fucking hardass when you can hide behind the safety of your computer screen. I worked today, what did you do? Oh yeah, sat on your fat ass and read my blog. Totally NOT a loser!
Listen douchebag: you just spent TIME out of your OWN life reading and commenting on my “pathetic, insignificant blog.” Clearly SOMEONE “gives a shit about it,” and that someone is YOU! You let loose a stream of incomprehensible, misspelled, incorrectly punctuated, pointless anger at the fact that someone that you don’t even know thinks certain comedians aren’t funny, and you criticize me for not writing something “worth reading?” Well done, you clearly intelligent, not cynical, not pathetic, importantly opinionated, non-loser with thought-provoking things to say. You are the epitome of cool.
November 24. 2008 at 6:36 pm
daniel tosh isnt even close to dane cook, dane cook is a douche bag, tosh is hilarious. if you fucked a kid with a lazy eye, then you really shouldnt judge other people, cause they might just point out that you’re a whore.
November 25. 2008 at 4:14 am
Does Daniel Tosh troll the internet looking for insignificant bloggers to take down, or do people actually like him this much? Who knew a low-rate, D-list comic had such rabid, 12 year-old fans?
Calling me a whore is awesome because a) you did it on a feminist blog, which, let’s face it, just proves our point, b) you also did it in the same sentence in which you accuse me of being judgmental, c) it demonstrates that your vocabulary and sense of humor is unoriginal, hackneyed, lazy, and juvenile (hey! That explains why you like Daniel Tosh!), and d) you’re literally criticizing me for getting laid.
Um, last time I checked, fucking a lot was awesome. Sorry it’s not happening for you…try leaving your mom’s basement.
July 26. 2009 at 7:29 pm
You know, I inadvertently stumbled upon your blog while searching for the aforementioned Daniel Tosh bit where he describes his dream home (which I admit is kind of a guilty pleasure, along with a decent amount of Stephen Lynch’s catalog), and decided you believing that “fucking a lot was awesome” warranted further reading, seeing as how many ladies don’t believe the same thing (unless they’re skanks or the rare “Good Decision Making AND Sexually Awakened/Liberated” type). I must say that your ideas are refreshing, I enjoy your style of writing very much, and find we agree on plenty of issues (my love of semi-hackneyed, juvenile humor aside, though I hate Dane Cook as well). I look forward to reading your blog in the future, and will enjoy your bashing of 13-year-old retards in the future.
Kudos!
-Jourdan
August 4. 2009 at 9:37 am
Dude, I’ve been marveling about this Daniel Tosh dude’s success of late. Is he, like, the worst comedian ever, or am I not getting something profound? Is he doing some kind of quadruple-level irony and making fun of the mindset of the average Mission Viejo teenager and his idea of what’s funny? That can’t be it, can it? He’s fucking intolerable.
August 4. 2009 at 10:27 am
No. It’s just that this culture is suffering from a major case of Judd Apatowism and we’re fucking hooked on this dumb white dude shit like it be crack, yo.
Every time a Tosh 2.0 commercial comes on, my boyfriend gets ridiculously upset – even more than I do – and starts ranting about how stupid and easy and lazy his shit is, and how it’s literally made for 13 year-old boys. He’s spent the last six weeks directing a computer camp and came to the realization that 90% of all mainstream media is literally made for adolescent white dudes – they determine what the rest of us have to accept as entertainment and suffer through, and then they eat that shit up.
…hence Daniel Tosh’s popularity. And hence the types of people rushing to his defense on this here very post.
August 26. 2009 at 2:54 pm
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – you, Kendall, are the most marvelous person in the world, and I love you. Even though I’m really, really gay, I love you and want to have your babies.
November 7. 2009 at 7:00 pm
I don’t have any complaints about what you said, just that your writing is… off. Try reading your posts aloud to yourself before posting them, because when you make statements like this, talking about how bad other people are at what they do, you should really put SOME effort into trying to do what you do acceptably.
November 8. 2009 at 7:13 pm
Well, number one, this post is over 3 years old, so…not really a fair yardstick to judge me by these days.
The thing is, I’ve been called a lot of things in my life, but a bad writer isn’t one of them. It’s just. not. true.
P.S. Suck on my balls.